-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY
Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.
Raise your hand if you have watched so much British television that is has actually changed your speech patterns.
I’ve not the slightest idea how you’ve come round to that idea.
Exactly. I haven’t the foggiest idea of how you’ve come to that conclusion.
What in the bloody hell are you blabbering on bout you twat?
Behold, people that have never been within 50 feet of anyone even remotely British.
oh man I would reblog your fabulous graphic but it’s just so much easier to right click, select ‘save file’, pick a folder, name the file, go to my dashboard, open a new photo post, click ‘upload’, find where I saved the file, select it, wait for it to load, tag it, and repost it gosh darn
Zac Efron at the MTV Movie Awards 2014.
today at the bookstore i asked the lady working if she had any lgbtq books that i could check out and her eyes magnified in what i mistook as horror and i thought i had offended her and then she said “i have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement i’ve been waiting for someone to finally ask” and she all but burst down the stairs to get them for me
"I have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement" is my new go-to pickup line
once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying